You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
