New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
