peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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