Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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