Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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