why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
