hotel room ftw
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
