I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
