The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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