i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize