Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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