Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
