The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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