I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
