sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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