i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
