We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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