I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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