this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
