Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
