I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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