i may or may not be watching the land before time
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
