The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
her facebook's as public as her vagina
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
