some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
