Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
