as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
