I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you didnt know i had herpes?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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