She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
