but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
