The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
