I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
