:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
