Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
