Sponge bath it is.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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