I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
