1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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