I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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