There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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