we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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