perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
