apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
