Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
