please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if only i could text you this smell
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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