It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
