babies were throwing up all over the place
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
