we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
