I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
