I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
