Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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