On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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