Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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