why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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