She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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