your room smells of hookers.
And success
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
