Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize