Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
