Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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