I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
