just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
