And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize