Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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