Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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