Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
