Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Randomize
